Saturday, 4 August 2018

Have cobweb will...


Can you believe this has been with me every one of the sixty eight miles there and back to see Audrey in hospital?
You will have heard of the worldwide web?  This is it 
personified!  Alright not exactly 
worldwide, Kentwide any road!  

Speeding along in my Brabus Smart car it bucked and flexed, but didn’t break.
Audrey update.
We have what I take to be a fairly typical mother, daughter relationship.  Not having a mum for forty seven years I forget how it goes.  My old mum, when she died was 48, no age to die.  She 
was loving and we had a super open caring and cuddly relationship.  Audrey is highly intelligent, she went to university back in the year dot.  Has the full compliment of faculties and some: running 
rings around my simple brain.  What we do share however is a degree, (the only one I can claim anyway!)... Masters in Battleaxemanship.

‘Just let her talk!  Man said kindly as he waved me off.
And talk, she did.
One of my cotton nighties I had taken in for her was given short shrift.
‘Take it back!’
Don’t rise to the bait flashed through my mind!  She sat 
resplendent in red satin jim-jams, talking through mouthfuls of fish and chips. She looked thin and pale, at the same time as looking  for all the world like a galleon in full sail.   Capt Jack Sparrow 
would have been proud to take the helm of such a magnificent craft.  Tugboat Lett moored alongside the bed, melting in the heat.
A dishy doctor came in
‘Who are you?’
I, by this time had lost the power of speech.
‘Err, I am a friend of Lett’s, err, double err... Audrey!
Her smile, lit up the room as she gazed into his eyes.  Pity all talk was of poo and nothing more 
juicy, although on occasions... Stop... too much information. 

The hands of the clock lost the power to move, as the hours dragged by, still she talked. After what to me seemed like three days I suggested she might need a snooze!?! 
‘I think I will have your nightie, the nurses are complaining about me having to remove my pyjama bottoms for the twice daily enemas!’
Back out of my bag it came and 
graciously she accepted it.

As I climbed into my potbelly 
stove of a car, on what seemed like the hottest day of the year, I thought as I weakly drove away...
Audrey is as tough as the 
cobweb on my car.  


  1. My Berlingo also has a resident spider, whose huge web stretches across the big wing mirror. The resident spider lives safely between the actual glass and the frame of the mirror. Come rain, wind or shine, that web stays put and even on washdays, when the mirrors get a good shampooing, the hosing, front and back, the spider survives and builds another sturdy web within a couple of hours. I see him/her but rarelyyet I know it's a big 'un! Occasionally a large, hairy leg emerges, just checking the tautness of his strands before being withdrawn to the comforts of home.

    1. This will make you smile and cry... maybe? I had a pet spider in my old cottage, one but last. It was over the kitchen window and for a couple of years we lived in harmony. A similar thing happened as you describe, when Simon cleaned the window the web would bite the dust and back it would come. In the year 2000 I was caring for Simon at home, he had a brain tumour. I sensed the spider wasn’t doing too well and in true me tradition tried to help by flapping flies into the web, without success I ought to say! The morning Simon died, I walked through to the kitchen to find the spider dead in the sink. It sounds far fetched I know, but that is exactly what happened. Interestingly enough my lovely mum used to say ‘If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive!’ It didn’t work for her though! I wouldn’t ever kill a spider, or come to that any other creature.


  2. Awww that's sad - and it's strange how sometimes these coincidences happen.. There are many things in life that we really don't understand.
    I feel the same as you about not killing any creature; who knows if they've lived on this Earth before?

  3. Wishing well, to your "talker"....

    1. Fingers crossed they will find out exactly what has caused her two years of such awful problems. 94 next month it is a wonder she is still alive!


  4. We too had a resident spider living somewhere under the dishwasher. It would come out in the evening for a look about then go back under the machine. He lived there for months then one evening he didn't appear and we never saw him again. I was quite sad, I'd got quite used to him. (I suppose it could have been a her too, I didn't check!) I do hate it though if I spot a spider, especially those big black ones that look quite solid, in my bedroom as I'm about to put the light out. Then hubby gets called to bring the cup and the cardboard to remove said spider to the outdoors! It can be quite hilarious watching him trying to catch them, they seem to see him coming lol. x

    1. Modern houses and spiders don’t seem to mix, I haven’t seen a spider of any size since we moved in. Like me I suppose they are not over smitten with sleek lines!?!


  5. I hope all is as well as it can possibly be. Difficult times.x

  6. We are going through a tricky time!



I do like a bit of...

old tat!  I honestly wish I didn’t but there you are! Yesterday I escaped the clutches of the oozing sourdough starter, quite a feat I do...