Sunday, 9 August 2020

You’ve heard of...

the Beverley Sisters,
the Andrews Sisters,
the Pointer Sisters, I’m sure!
But have you ever heard of the
Verruca Sisters?
No?  I can’t say it surprises me neither had I until last night.
I turned my foot over to investigate and there they were.
At least I think that’s what they are, I haven’t had the misfortune to have made their acquaintance before so how am I to know?
If you think about it, in lockdown surely it is pretty nigh impossible to get verrucas.  I wear the same shoes, sandals and slippers, don’t go anywhere much and hardly paddle around anywhere without shoes on.
The big question is where have they come from?
Last night I sat up in bed playing  youtube clips on weird and wacky ways to banish them.  Is it any wonder I didn’t sleep that well?
My best guess is this hot weather holds the key, they have under cover of darkness flown in through the wide open window and landed on my left foot stuck out of the duvet.  Does that sound feasible?
Probably not!
Today’s exciting job is a touch of the self administration of strange Glasto-type herbals and other mystical capers.
Circle dancing around a toad
type of thing, chanting, spells and potions to be made and applied.  Now where did I put my White Witches Recipe Book and guide to all things helpful and healing?

Any ideas and helpful suggestions on a postcard please.


On closer inspection Dr. Hubs thinks they might be a...
cornucopia of corns!

All this ruddy rambling!
I knew it was no good for your health...

Saturday, 8 August 2020

Love in a hot climate...

is cuddling up with mum, on her chair, no worries that it really is too hot to snuggle!

This morning they got up early-ish and took me to the forest, which was a definite first.  I did enjoy it.  Not many dogs had been there before me so my calling card was the first.  Far better than trogging around town with all the visitors not giving a stuff about social distancing.  I really have no idea why they insist on doing it as they know I hate it so much!  
These human parents are a strange breed? At least in the forest the squirrels are red hot on keeping their distance and damned hard to catch, as they will insist on cheating by shooting up trees.
Toodle pip for now.  
Love Ellie XxX

Thursday, 6 August 2020

I chasseed into the...

fish shop, sun hat on
face mask on, full slap on,
got to the counter where there was a chorus line of fishes. Kindly the fishmonger enquired as to what I would like, I stood, he stood, we waited, in my empty head I knew exactly what I wanted.  He quickly realised the light was on but no one was home...
Flounder-like I was, not to put too fine a point on it...

‘Cod, haddock, sea bass, plaice?’

‘Ah, plaice, yes that is what I would like!’

Oh dear!
Old dear!
Not a good start to my day.

The afternoon more than made up for this senior moment.
Wyre Forest, walking down a track across a mere 100 yards we spied what we both thought was a carved white stag.  That is until it moved!  We were obviously down wind as the stags ranging in colour from the magnificent white hart through brown to black.  There were five of them: we stood memorised for a good few minutes, as they looked across the valley in our direction.  They were eventually turned by Ellie who by then had obviously got a whiff of their presence and started to move slowly through the bracken to investigate.  Even then they just ambled away.  A truly magical once in a lifetime experience.

not my photograph sadly!

I’m bored...

very, very bored!
‘What to do next for badness?’
over the years has become my oft heard stuck-in-the-groove refrain.
What a madam!
I don’t like having my wings clipped, the fact I probably would choose to stay in and do not a lot of anything is by the way.  
When I can’t, I want to!
When I can, I choose not to!
Some might opine...
I am 100% madam of the very first order.
But wait, compared to one who shall be nameless I am a 
purring pussy cat.

On one occasion in my past life I was summons up to the nursery.  In I strolled to be confronted with...

‘What bloody time do you call this for the bloody tea?’

I stood all of my 5’4”, puffed out my not inconsiderable chest with indignation, all the while thinking I’m not having this!

‘I’ve been too bloody busy answering the bloody telephone to get the bloody tea!’ was my pithy reply.

We stood facing each other...

I walked away pride in every step having out bloodied her by one!

They got their tea, she got my message...

Wednesday, 5 August 2020

Goodbye cruel blogger world...

lettice leaf is feeling the vinaigrette mafia circling.  On her birthday she will be gobbled up by the new improved (I think NOT?) salad dressing called the ‘New Blogger Format’.  The only reason it would appear, is for readers on their mobile phones,  as they blunder into lampposts, step off the pavement into the path of an oncoming artic lorry?  Or worse still knock folk off their bicycles and into the path of the truck, who could so easily not see them as the driver is busy texting behind a wheel.
If Covid doesn’t get you, your freaking mobile will!

The only slightly redeeming feature is at least when I get eaten up by the powers that be, I will be a healthy ingredient for them to masticate.  Just wish I’d called myself ‘Big Whopper’ then I could at least clog up their arteries and over time they would decide back to the healthy, simple and easy to use...

Tuesday, 4 August 2020

I’m going all dollally...

Well, it’s like this... don’t you think when you are bored, oh and getting decrepit you tend to look back?  That is exactly what I am doing.  The clock ticking on the wall is reminding me with its loud tick that time is moving on.
Being a glass half full sort of a lass, it really hacks me off to not be free, so what do I do I look back to times when fun was very much a part of my life.  To laugh is one of the most intoxicating experiences.  Lately laughter hasn’t featured muchly, in fact any day I expect Boris to ban it!?!
So here is a story that could so easily have had a different ending.  When I left the Highlands I bought a small terraced cottage in York, right beside the river Ouse.  Coming home one night I noticed a young guy looking up into a tree on the footpath beside the river.
Never one to miss an opportunity to chat I enquired as to the object of his curiosity,  It was a barn owl, we got into conversation as we stood looking at it sat looking at us.  He was from America travelling, York obviously high on his list of cities to visit.
Well as I was only a short walk from home I said why not come in for coffee.  My thinking, he had travelled all this way and never probably stepped into anyone’s home.  That in my book is how you get the feel for the country and its people.  I had a boyfriend so before you think I had an ulterior motive, you couldn’t be more wrong!  The evening finished with him showing me how to juggle.  It was a memorable evening for him I’d like to think, as well as for me.  My neighbour the next day said
‘What were you up to last night?  All I could hear were gales of laughter!’

Thinking about it afterwards  it occurred to me it could have had a very different outcome?

The tree at the end of Alma Terrace in York minus the owl obv!?!

Monday, 3 August 2020

Sunday evening, wracking my...

brains to think of some of the madcap things I have done in my life.
Did I ever tell you of the time after a convivial evening of drinking mead in the ‘Cock Inn’ at  Cuxton, I took off my knickers and put them on the head of the man driving me home?  Giggling in the back of the car with my coz Chris, her husband was driving, mine was navigator, leaving us two girls to get up to no good.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, the fact that Eddie has all these years later never fully recovered from  the experience is a mere bagatelle.  He keeps getting flash backs apparently!?!
One Christmas Eve we drove out to one of our favourite country pubs where we would sing carols, drink and generally get in the spirit. The breathalyser and the drinking and driving rules were to come!  This particular evening we went in on a cold clear night and in the hours carousing and having fun, quietly and stealthily the snow came.  Coming out into this magical unlooked for world of white was a true once in a lifetime magical Christmas moment.

Getting home in the wee small hours to shoehorn the turkey into the oven for it to be cooked to a shadow of its former self.  Even then it was an odd feeling to get up on Christmas morning to the smell of turkey roasting

I used to sing in french, the fact I had not one word of french wasn’t a problem, at least to me; I was sporting a beret, what more did they want?
I’ve told more people where to hop off from all walks of life than I’ve had hot dinners and that’s a lot!
A cuckoo in the nest of my very respectable parents.

Me being taken for a walk along the prom before I was born!

Sunday, 2 August 2020

Having just read...

on John Gray’s blog about the problems he is having with the new blog howsyourfather happening anytime soon.  I thought I’d better tell my very select band of followers that if I disappear in a puff of smoke it won’t me voluntarily going, it will be me self combusting and flying like a fart out of the window!
Maybe it’s me age, but I hate change and the so called ‘new improved’ anything.  In fact a case in point is Aldi’s own brand Fruit Pastilles.  Happily on walks we munch along with a pocket full of sweeties, until the last packet I bought!  One sweet in and I emergency stopped in my tracks, out of my chops it comes, I looked it over, popped it back in and investigatively chewed some more! It most definitely isn’t the same!  Another flavour was swiftly deposited into my rosebud mouth only for my initial diagnosis to be confirmed.  Not nearly as good, so our walks now are much healthier as the fruit pastilles have been sent to the big suppository (I ought to explain this isn’t a typo, it’s my word for depository, so much more graffical I feel!?!) in the sky.
My waistline is already enjoying the new regime. So my demise on blogger when the new regime is finally imposed across the board will maybe just maybe to my advantage... dunno?

On a happier note yesterday’s loaf.

Saturday, 1 August 2020

A bit of a do...

of a day!  Like the Curate’s egg... good in parts.
Walking on the lead training before it got too hot.  Fine all the way into town and around the market until we turn for home... then pull, pull, pull... panic!
We walked around the castle walls with Ellie calming with every step, off the lead, mind!?!  Home along the lane settling, settling, settling.  Progress is slowly being made although in my book I want fastly,fastly,fastly!?!
Patience I haven’t.
Home to 26 emails, well five actually  that for me is the equivalent of 26, only ever getting one and that’s usually a scam.
Some brilliant news, some sad news and one halfway between the two.  Much of the rest of the day has been spent answering the emails.
Then a delivery from one of my most fav companies, I know, I know I shouldn’t but I do.  The efficiency of Amazon fair take your breath away.
Husband struggled in with a box the size of which could easily accommodate my slumbering form, which contained Ellie’s ‘26th’ bed. I have decided her current princess and the pea bed needs an upgrade so in a fit with my leg in the air I decided on a memory foam humongous bed for her to stretch out on.  Out go all the many and various cushions, pallaisses and other sleeping accoutrements and in comes this cloud-like confection for her to slumber on.
I do sometime idly wonder if I spoil her?

Ellie enjoying the stuffing 
from the box!

Friday, 31 July 2020

After a rollicking from...

Rachel yesterday, I thought she’s got a point, so best I get a wiggle on and brighten myself up, even if only for the blog!  I can then grump around Ludlow to my heart’s content, without my chums in blogland knowing what a crosspatch I really am.  Although I’m not, so that last bit is a fib!  I was struggling to think of something  positive to say when I thought about the receptionist in the opticians yesterday who commented on my sunglasses.
‘I do love your sunnies!’ she said.
It got me thinking there are two things I wear that wherever I go I get comments on, one the sunglasses and the other are these earrings.  I thought that would be a sort-of positive blog post, so I tried to take a selfie of the aforesaid items without showing too much of the phizog!

As I was in the David Bailey zone the postman came bringing post for me!?!  Never getting any mail I heard himself chatting to our lovely postman and thought nothing of it.
In he came with a letter, it’s for you from Canada.
‘Canada?  I don’t know anyone in Canada, it must be for the people we bought the cottage from!’  I said in my best Lady Docker tones.
On closer inspection it was indeed for yours truly.  What a glorious surprise.  

not the best of photographers I do hope you can enlarge it to see?

Thank you Moni, the arrival of this beautiful card made with your own fair hands could not have come at a more appropriate moment.  To say it has cheered me up is the understatement.

Don’t you just love your blogging chums.  I know I do!

Thursday, 30 July 2020

Shock horror...

I have with much soul searching
now where did I put that bit of me that I loosely call my soul? decided I really don’t like some people and how they behave. The pandemic made me come to this momentous decision after a full 300 frigging years of puppy-like squirming to be loved, gone in five or so short months.
Looking back over an action packed life of the great and the good, and all stations in between, the cold hard fact is I don’t like what I see. I need new specs that bit I do know, off to pick them up this morning,  The opthalmic howsyourfather said as I left his lair of pie charts, wall art squiggles and torture contraption of rest your chin here and peer through these Titanic potholes rescued from the bottom of the ocean type thing...
‘These glasses will be on a par with the ones you have!’
‘Wot?’  I stupidly thought as I coughed up 69 quid for a replacement lens that won’t do anymore than the cheapo ones I already have!
A monocle would be cheaper and far more stylist I thought as I drifted 69 quidlets poorer out of the shop!

It wasn’t only that though...
I am just that way out at the mo!

You’ve heard of...

the Beverley Sisters, the Andrews Sisters, the Pointer Sisters, I’m sure! But have you ever heard of the Verruca Sisters? No?  I ...