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Friday, 5 July 2019

The story of the errant ...

hat.
All was quiet, himself had gone to the osteopath for a little light manipulation having walked into a bollard the day before.
This is 100% true, however the mishaps don’t stop there.
Nipping into the downstairs cloakroom for a quick wee, washing my hands I happened to glance into the pan.  I was horrified to see what looked like an enormous happening.  My first thought was a blockage and after all that money we have spent on the getting to the bottom of the pong!  I quickly turned on the light as I am nothing if not mindful of the planet!  On cautiously peering a little closer, I discovered his newly bought brown sun hat with a rather fetching topping of white toilet paper.  With great care I fished it out idly wondering how it had got there?  Into a bucket it went and was given the treatment, all the while me thinking good job it was only a wee piddle and nothing more robust?  I hung it to dry on one of the bamboo canes in the Wrenery.
On his return I kindly inquired as to how his strained hamstring was, with the over-ride of 
‘You lost anything?’  Along with your dignity yesterday with Bollardgate, which I obviously didn’t say... thought it though!
Scratching his sunhatless head his reply was a cagey... ‘No!’

‘Well feast your eyes on the new bamboo topping!’
A manly grunt?

‘This was found treading water in the bog!’

After lunch we stepped out with himself wearing the damp hat...

‘To keep my head cool you understand and it will dry faster!’



No answer to that!


9 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. At least you were brave enough to comment on this unsavoury post Joanne, thanks for that. They do say fact is stranger than fiction. My motto is if you can see the funny side in life then you’ve got it cracked.

      LX

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  2. And did you ever find out how it came to be in the toilet in the first place? Had it fallen off his head while he was there surely he'd have noticed? Was it thrown in a fit of picque? I need to know??! I have lived on this earth for over 60 years and never, not once have I ever found a hat in the toilet! It did give me a right good laugh though. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In a funny way it was linked to Bollardgate, the pain in his leg had caused him to sit on the pan to pee, as he dropped his trousers he thinks it must of fallen out of his back pocket. At least that was his answer to our, yours and mine, not unreasonable question! Thinking about it I suppose he could have peed on it as well depending on whether it was fore or aft, as it were? My take on the whole sorry mess, was... blooming good job it hadn’t been flushed away otherwise we would have had to call the plumber back out to cure an unforeseen blockage, You honestly couldn’t make it up!

      The bruise on his leg is from knee to bott, you should see the state of the bollard!?! The funny thing is today the bollard is now sporting a teddy bear tightly cable tied to it... all it lacks is a sign saying ‘Ted was ‘ere!’

      LX

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    2. hahaha. I'd love to have seen the plumbers face when he found a hat! You MUST put a notice up! Everyone would be wondering who Ted is! Or.... have they all sussed you out already?? Good times! x

      Delete
    3. Probably sussed me out already, let’s face it it can’t be that difficult?

      LX

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it, wish I could say the same, I must confess I came over all peculiar at the sight that laying in wait!?! To say I was discombobulated was the understatement!?!

      LX

      Delete
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