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Thursday 30 April 2020

Throw away...

lines of mine and friends.
‘Look here me old matey!’
This to a person far used to being addressed as Sir!
(You can take the girl out of Dartford, sadly not Dartford out of the girl!?!)

Roy.
Two from a very dear eccentric friend...
‘As I was saying to my mother... 
the Queen!
‘To cut a long story short!’
then proceeding to cut a short story... l o n g!

Danny.
‘As camp as custard!’
and he was.
And...
‘Just like a fart in a colander looking for a hole to get out!’
Both of Danny’s sayings I use, feeling he lives on in his funny one liners.

Me.
Whenever I am asked by anyone about any numbers required ie 
How many slices of toast?
My reply is the same... 26!
(the fact I only ever have one, one and a half at the weekend is a mere bagatelle!)


My Auntie Marjorie I always called Auntie Margarine... that’s one from Danny.

I always call the fridge, t’oven
(the oven).

‘You’ve got one on the other side!’
as he stubs his toe or hurts his arm!

‘I am surprised he didn’t cock his leg up and show it who was the boss!’ 
I said as we all stood round ‘admiring’ the dead leopard rug!?! The person (mentioned above) was regaling us with how his Jack Russel had growled at first sight of the rug. 
All eyebrows were raised with glances at me of the unspoken words...
‘I can’t believe she said that!’
I shrugged and thought maybe they get my disapproval of this wonderful creature finishing up as  a ruddy rug... I did hope so!

Over the years I have opened my mouth and put my foot in it more times than I care to recall.


Have you any to share?


12 comments:

  1. Classics every one! I will have to think ...

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    1. Just tried to leave a comment on your blog and find I can’t. I am afraid to go the way of blogger because that was got me into the not being able to comment on my own blog. So my not commenting doesn’t mean I am not following what is going on in your world Tinkerbell.

      LX

      Delete
    2. That is odd...I have that problem with WordPress blogs! As your blog is on blogspot you should be able to comment easily on other blogspot blogs

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    3. It had changed since I last looked!...it was limited to those with Gmail accounts...I have put it open but still moderated. Comment away!!

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    4. Yes, I’ve had a problem with WordPress blogs, one of which I would dearly love to comment on. However I do object to all the hoops you have to jump through in order to get a look in! My knowledge of this lovable, but at times infernal contraption... iPad etc. is so limited that I get myself in a pickle and then can’t get myself out. So I totter on trying to practise safe internet intercourse!?!

      LX

      Delete
  2. When the kids used to (constantly!) ask, "What's for dinner. Mum?" I'd reply, "Elephants' eyeballs and custard."
    I now say it to the grandkids - it still gets a giggle from them. Probably think that Grandma is doolally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doolally is good in my book... now about this recipe for the elephant eyeballs? The custard obv. I know!

      LX

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    2. First, catch an elephant . . . . .

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  3. Twenty million is my reply when anyone asks how many. Another one is 'wit ye like' to be said in a broad Scottish accent! My youngest son's girlfriend had no clue what this meant and questioned my son on the use of it, then one day when they were both here my eldest son came in, had a converstation with his brother, turned to us and said 'wits he like'. The girlfriend was gobsmacked and the rest of us burst out laughing much to my eldest sons consternation as he'd missed our previous conversation! To be honest I'm not entirely sure how to explain what it means! Its usually said as a mixture of amazement and amusement at someones behaviour! xx

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    1. Makes my 26 look positively parsimonious by comparison MG, then you always were much more of a good-time girl than me!?!

      Wot yer like? is that it? Don’t the old family sayings mean such a lot, is it any wonder newcomers take a while to get the family shorthand?

      LX

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  4. My cousin Patsy misspelled her name in the second grade, and was Pasty from then on.

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