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Tuesday, 29 December 2020

Ghost like her face...

 emerged. After a couple of days of radio silence my flat thing murmured.  As if by some ghastly trick, I could see her.  For months our flat things haven’t been producing pictures, now they are and I am sad at the sight before me.  Audrey complaining of the cold sat in her hospital room.

‘I don’t want to die cold!’

‘Perhaps it is your body getting in training for what is to come!’

‘They have just thrown a coat at me and left me to it! Anyway I am being discharged today and nothing has been said!’

‘The care package isn’t in place until the 29th Audrey so they won’t send you home before then’

We talked on until she once again had to dash to the loo.

‘FaceTime me later, love you Mum!’

‘I will, and I do you too!’

Will that be the last time we speak?

I got on to the ward to find out where the dressing gown was that had been delivered on Christmas Day by one of her neighbours.

A chatty nurse said it was in a carrier bag, soiled!?!  She then went on to say she has been complaining of the cold for days and she is toasty and her temperature is spot on.  Yesterday Audrey had a bad day, in bed not communicating.  Today she is a lot brighter, using her iPad.  Certainly she isn’t being discharged anytime soon! 

That was Monday. 

How is it going to end?  I worry when she doesn’t get in touch and now worry when I see the decline when she does.

Today Tuesday has ended with Audrey in bed in her own home?  The NHS have more pressing needs for her hospital bed.

Maybe her dream of dying at home comes one step closer?



17 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. That is how she was in our last visit. Now we wait to hear how she got through the night alone in her flat?

      LX

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  2. It must be difficult to cope with things right now, please know that I'm thinking of you and Audrey.
    Try to be strong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From such a distance it is so very difficult to feel of much help. The latest thing is a microwave and heater for us to order in order that the carers can get something hot into her.

      Thank you for your kind thoughts Moni.

      LX

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  3. What a worry and very frustrating for you.
    Barbara

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    Replies
    1. Audrey is home now but failing fast. It is just a waiting game. So very sad such a proud, super intelligent woman has come to this.

      LX

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  4. I feel your pain. The NHS, while wonderful, isn't so great when it comes to the elderly at times. And being as it is, full of Covid, home is probably the best place for Audrey, but only if she has the support she needs. It must be such a worry for you, however I know from experience of several of my neighbours the care teams are very good and generally on the ball once it all kicks in properly. As you say, it's nights that are the worry. It was that worry that took my lovely neighbour off to a carehome and in the current climate thank goodness for it. She'd never have coped with all this. Are you in touch with any of her previous neighbourly helpers, they might help to keep you informed when Audrey is incommunicado. Sending you hugs. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phone call this morning to ask if Audrey had agreed ‘Do not resuscitate’. This it, I thought. she is now back in hospital with chest pain over her pacemaker.. maybe someone has forgotten to tell Audrey how to die? Still we crack on...

      LX

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  5. Well . . . having read this latest post, I am inclined to believe that you are having trouble with your laptop again. I'm probably talking to myself, then. But I do hope you can get things fixed and return to your blog asap. Best wishes - and hoping Audrey is flourishing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am still here, I think although...

      LX

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    2. Yessss! You ARE still there; I can see you.

      Delete
  6. Very hard time, and covid complicates EVERYTHING. I'm sorry that I am no help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure does. Audrey is constantly FaceTiming me, becoming more muddled every day. It is as much as I can do to be here for her, with her going,over the same things many, many times.

      You are there that is more than enough. Thank you.

      LX

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  7. Good to see that you were OK on 13th !! Missing your posts. Hope all is well. Finally had snow here ( Herts) this early morning but the rain is seeing it off now thank goodness!

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    Replies
    1. Bless you Frances. Like all bad pennies I am sure to turn up...some time.

      Lucky you, snow, how lovely...

      LX

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I am still here...

hanging by a thread. The thread is  Audrey. Audrey is now in a care home which she constantly calls rehab.  Every time she says it Amy Wineh...