At sparrow-fart yesterday I was up and dressed and looking fairly respectable, well as respectable as I am ever going to look these days. My dental appointment was at 8.45am, far too early for a woman of my advanced years. I often say to the dentist I could have bought a small terraced house with the money I have handed over looking after my teeth. He looks pained as he delves further into my rosebud!
On return home I decided on a session on the allotment. Being of a slothful disposition I stayed in the same ‘being abroad in the big wide world’ attire. My usual bag-lady allotment look was relegated to the compost heap that is my covid clothes pile. Getting lost in the tilling of the soil I was happy in my own sweet world. Husband was pottering, Ellie was guarding, all was cheery in this Ludlow idyl. The chairman bustled up and enquired whether we would mind having our photograph taken for a local magazine. Both of us replied ‘Err... no chance! Even Ellie slunk into the shed. Idly the thought occurred I am looking fairly normal for me not my usual ‘Hungry and Homeless’ doorstep look. Mind you the size of me wouldn’t convince many. The photographer by way of bribery said how much he would love Ellie in the picture. That was the coup de grace. The job was a good’un in normal speak.
Later in the day, still in the same dental outfit minus the mask obv. I was just about to set off back to my little piece of paradise when flying down the hill came our vegetable delivery cargo bike.
‘Would you mind having your photograph taken for us to publicise our bicycle deliveries?’
In for a penny in for a pound, I agreed all the while thinking what am I doing? My ‘I want to be alone’ header statement about keeping a low profile was crumbling around my ears.
This morning I stepped out fully expecting stepladders-a-go-go to be in full force as the photographers lay in wait for the newly emerged recluse to show. I peeped out not a ruddy soul.
Disgruntled I smartly stepped up the hill to the market smarting at the waste of slap and spritz I had carefully applied this morning.