Sunday, 14 October 2018

I now know...

why I prefer...
palazzo pants?
This morning I decided to don a pair of linen trousers.  You know the sort, those with a waistband, button and zip.
Well, I don’t mind telling you, I had convinced myself I was losing weight.  What with all the trogging up and down ladders in and out of the loft, walking, oh, alright there is usually a pub at the end of it!  Lifting and shifting, the weight was dropping off... obv!  Added to which the last time I wore them I was pleasantly surprised at the slack!?!  Must, just must, have only got better, surely to goodness?
Err... not so!
If you think about it your body is an interesting bit of kit, no matter how much exercise you do it will have the last word, it seems to take great delight in highlighting your inadequacies.  I wouldn’t mind but in my world I
like to have the last say...

Saturday, 13 October 2018

All is quiet here...

so much to tell. I am afraid the spell will be broken if I do.  We have had our offer on our dream cottage accepted, the first folk through the door agreed to buy our seaside home.  Now it only remains for me to take a daily ‘be patient’ tablet.
I would love to say more but I am affrighted of spoiling the magic.

Saturday, 6 October 2018

I am rapidly...

morphing into a dotty old dear.

What gives me that idea you might wonder?
I’ve started making chutney.
Wearing a beret, at a jaunty angle I hasten to add.
Donning bigger knickers, much more comfortable, what!
Buying bras without underwires. I fear the next step will be going braless, so much more comfortable, what!
Ditto elastic waistbands.
Sensible shoes, with feet this wide is there any other way?
Comfort is the name of the game.
I let my hair go grey years ago, trouble now is at my last visit to the hairdressers I asked for a bob.  With my chubby cheeks, not sure it is the best look?
At least I don’t need a perm.
For an old dear I am inordinately proud of my wrinkle free neck.  Not so my chin which each morning the passing fishing boats set 
their clocks to the sight of me sat plucking out my nine o clock shadow by my bedroom window.  The thing that baffles me is that while my chin gets the distinct look of the bloke on the packet of Senior Service ciggies, my eyebrows grow more sparse by the day?
After all these years I am having to wear reading glasses, until now I have been specs-free.  Not hearing a blooming word, vainly I crowed about not needing spectacles.  Pride goeth before a 
fall! Early cataracts lurk.

And another thing I have developed BPPV (vertigo) which is a total pain as yoga triggers it and my weekly class I did reluctantly enjoy.  Now I have a perfect excuse not to go and after all this time of Elizabeth Bott type ‘I don’t want to go!’ I don’t have to and I AM NOT HAPPY!

Is all of this normal of a woman of advancing years?  Trouble is... I don’t want to be NORMAL!

Friday, 5 October 2018

There’s a thing...

as I sit here surveying my life... the house by the sea is done.  All on the surface is superb, my dreams, schemes are there for all to see, very lovely it all looks too.  However my heart isn’t in it.  I can’t actually pinpoint what is lacking?
It surely isn’t the orchids which against all odds have flowered, the lighting which for women of a certain age casts the most gentle of lights?  What exactly?

Ancient to modern, not for me.
Admitting this I feel shallow and to most I am, however the time has come to admit this living cheek by jowl by the sea was a mistake... 

‘A wise man changes his mind, a fool never does!’

We are moving...

Saturday, 22 September 2018

There was a man...

I loved him.
All the men in the pub, including my man knew of my love.

It is funny in life when you meet a kindred spirit, he was exactly that.

I best explain...
Dave used to come into the pub with a gang of, not to put too fine a point on it...
old duffers.  Loud and highly intellectual they to a man, were full of vim and vigour and a joy to be with.  Dave with his long grey hair was set apart.  An ex public school teacher who was the butt of their affectionate jokes. The reason, he was very deaf.  He would sit missing most of what went on around him, quite content sinking real ale and imbibing the general bonhomie.  All my life I have been an old man’s darling, now I have joined their ageing ranks, nothing much has changed!
Dave and I sealed our new found 
love with the age old custom of giving and receiving gifts.  His to me, the badge with an ear on to denote his disability.  Mine to him my head girls badge.  On seeing this he said 

‘I can’t take that, it is precious!’

My reply 

‘Think about it Dave, am I honestly Head girl material?’

On considering it for a moment he graciously accepted.  Our love was sealed for all to see with our love tokens clapped proudly on our chests.  No man dared to come between us.
We talked, as best we could

‘I enjoy talking to you, you 
enunciate so well!’
Who knew!?!

Sadly this week he died.
Four years ago he was told he had six weeks to live.  He determined then to enjoy what time he had left, drinking, loving and making merry.
I miss him, a good dear man.

Friday, 14 September 2018

Call me prejudice...

I don’t care...
I really can’t abide geraniums.
Dahlias top the list of flowers I really really can’t abide, due in no small part to probably the richest boyfriend I ever had continuing to cough up 50p for a bunch of maroon jobbies.  Dahlias themselves are appalling in my humble opinion, however maroon takes them to a whole new level of awfulness!  The bloke, bit the dust along with the immortal words 

‘I suggest you artfully arrange them where the sun don’t shine!’ 
That bit is a fib, however he was given his marching orders in short shrift.

Decking is another pet hate, why would anyone take the trouble to level perfectly good soil to lay dead trees on?  And worse than that run the risk of slipping on the wet deck and breaking their 

Net curtains... knitted man-made fibre, to grace suburban homes.    
Only good I can see is for folk who enjoy an occasional twitch!

Faux orchids... why?
Alright I will be the first to acknowledge real ones are tricky until with patience you find their happy place.  Then they flower for absolutely blooming yonks.  Next comes the phase that is hard, especially for one such as me with veins pumping impatience as I wait for them to re-flower.  Boy is it worth the perseverance, and the excitement as you have completely 
forgotten what colour they are! 

Do you think I need to get out more...?

Saturday, 8 September 2018

Just had a thought...

I love the folk who take the time out to comment, I like their honesty, their views on the sometimes wacky things that float my particular boat.

Of late I have been a tad flat, so much so my blogging juices have all but dried up.  My fun thoughts have bogged oft leaving me glum!

This is my latest interior design idea...

The wonderful oars I bought with the intention to use as a handrail down the stairs, magically by my powers of artistical excellence... (modest, I ain’t!)
have metamorphised into curtain rails! 

Now if there is one thing that I personally think as naff, it is the seaside niknackery that many coastal homes get decked out with.
However the oars strangely enough are excused my scorn... could it be I idly wonder, because it is my amazing idea?

Saturday, 1 September 2018

My latest love...

a chair, not any old chair, a rather special chair as you can see!  
Man has given up asking where my latest treasure will go for fear of my showing him!?!
I saw it in the window of my favourite shop in Hythe.  Stood forlorn with its back to the window, a shy and retiring little number.  The moment I clapped eyes on it my heart flew out of my chest.  I was all for camping in the doorway in case anyone else would beat me to it?  Himself assured me that probably not many folk in Hythe would fall as madly, deeply as I had done!?!  Dragging me home, my heels making track marks in the pavement to equal the rails on the 
Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch 
railway.  I know you will have to use a little imagination here as how can deep troughs rival tracks? You get my drift, I’m sure!
Not so sure you will see the beauty in the chair though and no, in answer to your unspoken question I don’t plan to do anything with it other than park my bott in it!

Monday, 27 August 2018

An email received...

this morning from Audrey...

‘Please could you get me some 
KY Jelly?  I hesitate to ask Gavin, nor my more prissy neighbours for fear of the talk around the old folks’ apartments, speculating on the use of the aforesaid?’

Why she doesn’t feel able to ask the district nurses who come every day to apply her medicine to the parts other medicines don’t reach, I have no idea?

It made me smile anyway!

My reply...
Morning Oh Sexy Lady!
Of course I don’t mind!
Signed off...
BIG love from your 
‘Slide and Ride Monitor’

Says it all really about how at 94  she is so worth all the love and help we can give her.  Still full
 of fun as her body is biting her BIG time on the bum.
What a woman!

Sunday, 26 August 2018

A funny sort of...

a week.
We are at the end of an interesting week.
The work is just about done in the house and guess who on the way to the pub wanted to take in a quirky house featured in Country Life?

This morning, while all was quiet in the house the two things I looked up on the internet were dogs looking for a home and humans looking for a new home.  Imagine my surprise on tapping in unusual
properties a house in Hythe popped up.  In the photographs it looked just the thing and reasonably ‘cheapish’!  We all know photo’s tell HUGE whoppers.  There was one small problem it looked in need of TLC and shedloads of money.  The fact it only had one loo and no parking was to me a mere trifle.  It was odd and had a walled garden... what is there not to like?

Good morning!  I have just found this in draft.

It was dated 12 August.  A lot has happened since then.  Not least we went to see the property and boy could I see us living there, a little gem tucked out of the way in the middle of Hythe.  It has so much going for it, so much going against it.  Not least money and huge upheaval.  I am getting too old for this caper, not to mention the man, who like so many husbands humours me, wants me to be happy.  For himself all he really wants is a quiet life!

The here and now is... the house is finally finished, looks superb, just the curtains.  My ideas have worked well, I say rather modestly!?!  Trouble is you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s 
ear.  This pig’s appendage is in a prime location, smack on the sea 
front.  As I sit knocking this 
out, the door is open, the sea is flat calm grey, clouds the same, a gentle breeze, all 
is quiet... what is there not to like?

Last weekend we went 
up to Cromer to look at a house, knowing all the while that Audrey is failing.  A crazy hair brained idea.  I trawl the internet for quirky cottages, knowing full well the one I left behind will be hard to replicate.

What am I like?  Get a grip LL, pull your socks up and get cracking enjoying your life by the sea...  spoilt lump!


Friday, 10 August 2018

Is Lakeland...

the latter-day Betterware or Kleeneze...  
I idly wonder?
Looking through their
Autumn 2018 brochure I notice the word Plastic has gone from their company name... wonder why!?!  Call me an old cynic, I really don’t care.

Am I showing my age by feeling all nostalgic?  Remember the brushes that were designed to clean between the all the rage venetian blinds, the curved brush for who knows what?  The clothes prop for the washing line?  The clothes hanging peg bag, the polish, the egg beater?

I well remember Auntie Nell confiding to my mother about the Kleeneze man whose brush reached the parts other brushes had until that one... never reached!!!

I now know...

why I prefer... palazzo pants? This morning I decided to don a pair of linen trousers.  You know the sort, those with a waistband, butt...