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Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Nonchalantly I stroll...

onto the beach, trying my utmost to appear innocent with ne’er a care in the world.  All the while hatching a wicked plan. To onlookers my aim is to look as if I am admiring and inspecting the wonderful varieties of pebbles and stones.  Looking for all the world like a first year geology student on a field trip! Carefully without a glimmer of guilt I select the size, the shape, the colour of the quarry I am after.  With sleight of hand one by one the chosen pebbles (rocks) slip oh so carefully down my left knicker leg.  As I carry on my ‘inspection’,  no one seems to notice my, not inconsiderable derrière is growing by the minute!
My usual garb of flowing clothes is a foil for my Fagin inspired activities.  My game isn’t to pick pockets, but to fill them with the  bounty of the beach.
This is the very particular size I am after and the receptacle I am planning on filling.

Simple really!  

I carefully cross the road all the while hoping my drawers don’t have a sudden attack of elastic fatigue.  Not a cloud of guilt shows on my face... hussy that I am.  When all is said and done my garden is just a mere extension of the beach... after all!?!

Derek Jarman eat your heart out.

2 comments:

  1. I love finding pretty stones on a beach. Lucky you to be so close. We could hardly be further from the sea here in Harpenden!!

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    Replies
    1. Harpenden-on-Sea has a certain ring to it!

      LX

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I’ll be blowed if...

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