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Sunday 13 September 2020

Hero to zero...

For years I have sent food parcels to folk, don’t ask, it’s what I do.  I have always used Hermes without any cause for complaint.

For very little money they have successfully carried my foodie gifts to the ‘boys’ in the Highlands.  That is until the last parcel which is somewhere lost in the system.  Even taking into account my at least monthly use of their services.  One parcel going astray isn’t too bad.  That is until you try to check with a real person what the problem is?  Their customer service is appalling, you just can’t make any headway, you get the same thing trotted out by automated responses.  When you do have the patience to persevere, they then ask if you would like to speak to an advisor 

‘Yes!’

what happens next is

YOU GET RUDDY CUT OFF!

The funny thing is most people I have spoken to about Hermes on the occasions I have been crowing about what a wonderful firm they are have looked and sounded exactly as I sound now...

flaming hacked off!


Iain has said when the parcel arrives he will phone.  My tracking of the parcel has hit a huge wall of indifference.

The contents will if they do arrive be as follows...

The cake... stale

The biscuits... soft

The ginger crunch...

flabby

The jar of jam meets the pickle amongst the shards of glass and decides on a little light fertilisation.  Who knows in the siding of lost Hermes parcels, unwittingly I may have found an antidote to the flaming virus, trouble is no one will know!?!

The two pairs of Poundland reading glasses will be tangled together in an embrace of metal and bottle end lens. Call them four eyes!

In my book now Hermes will be forever the Carrier of Customer Cock Ups.


I am nothing if not fickle...

‘Now where is the number of the 

Ruddy Royal Mail?







13 comments:

  1. Over the past few years I have had lots of online purchases delivered by Hermes without any problem, but the only two parcels that have arrived with items literally smashed to pieces in them were both delivered by them too and when I contacted the sellers I got exactly the same response - it is not worth my while contacting them to complain, I have had this happen before and have got absolutely nowhere. They both refunded me, but it has dented my trust in Hermes big time. Then again, I have had items go astray with the Royal Mail and they didn't want to know and just fobbed me off with a few stamps!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry to hear of you woes, until this last parcel I honestly thought they were the bees knees, not anymore. It makes me laugh about them offering free insurance up to £20, how you go about claiming it is anybody’s guess?

      LX

      Delete
  2. It sounds like there is an opening in the market for a reliable parcel delivery service with a ' customer care' team with real people in it. Touble is, these days you have to be big before you even get off the ground, so its not a business for a 'start-up' is it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The funny thing is... as we were driving back from visiting Audrey I was asking the husband how do small carriers turn into large ones? The thing that fascinated me was if I got a booking to deliver to say, Scotland, I would need to ensure I didn’t return with an empty vehicle, how would you go about that? My brain was engaged for most of the three plus hours getting home AND that was before I realised there was a problem with my parcel! This blooming Covid has a lot to answer for... memo to self... I MUST GET OUT MORE! Or if Boris has his way... I must stay in more!?! What’s a girl to do, I ask you?

      LX

      Delete
  3. I have to say, Hermes is my least favourite carrier too. I like DPD. I've had no problem with them and I like that they tell you the drivers name who will deliver your parcel. Me and Donny are now on first name terms!!
    Sorry I didn't get round to commenting on your last post. It was lovely to see Audrey looking so well and cheerful despite her 'frailties'. I'm glad you had a good visit, I'm sure it reassured you tremendously.
    I've no idea whether we've to stay in or go out these days but I have to admit to staying in as much as possible though we're going for a wee day out this coming week to Loch Lomond. It's to be warm and relatively sunny apparently so we'll take the dog and have a picnic. First proper trip out in months - what have we come to?? xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy the day out, don’t you just love a picnic, I know I do! We never know when full lockdown will be imposed on us all again, I feel sure it will, so enjoy while you still can. This week we have a couple of National Trust days out booked, the purpose purely for different dog walks, oh and a cup of coffee. The husband is a lifetime member, Scottish actually, his mum and dad loved their holidays in Scotland so much that they treated him and his sister to the full monty membership! It is lovely to just go when the mood takes you and not have to worry about the entrance fee. Well that was the case back in the carefree old days... you remember them MG?

      LX

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  4. Hermes collection is a separate company to Hermes delivery.
    Therein probably lies the problem. Pirate would say use FedEx...but he would, they pay his pension!!
    I use Royal Mail or parcelfarce..but always get it tracked and signed for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, a recommendation and if FedEx are paying out a pirate’s pension, then they can’t be half bad... Shiver me timbers!

      Was that a typo or a joke, Parcelfarce? Good name!

      LX

      Delete
    2. Son #1,aka The Oily One worked there for a while..it was what the workers called it....

      Delete
  5. Oh dear. I hope your mail has not been sabotaged to the extent ours has been

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope Boris has better things to meddle in than our mail system, although I do worry he is becoming more like Trump every day!

      LX

      Delete
  6. Royal Mail charge an arm and a leg to deliver a parcel. Try getting a quote from ParcelMonkey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is why I don’t use Royal Mail for parcels, plus an indifferent service. Parcel Monkey I will look into thanks for the tip.

      LX

      Delete

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