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Saturday, 16 March 2019

You smile as if...

you heard every word.


 The fact is not one got through the fog that inhabits your ears.  Does your enigmatic smile give a clue to the disconnect that is a constant camp follower of your progress through life?
You are walking wounded: not that the hearing folk can see, nor on occasions seem to have any sympathy for!  You don’t actually want sympathy just empathy with a sprinkle of fairy dust.

We told Audrey our news on Saturday, she took it so well, her Buddhist principles came to the fore.  In a funny way that made it so much worse for me, I was expecting her to have a real go at me, as she has been having of late.  She understood.  Her health is failing, the latest problem being an undiscovered ulcer on the bottom of one of her feet. My battle to get her greater care she 
undermines at every turn.  In many respects our relationship is what I imagine a lot of mother/daughter
relationships to be.  Not having my own mum for 48 years we never got this far!  Her friend living in the same complex is taking up the reins, he luckily is a retired social worker and isn’t phased by her fire.

I wrote this yesterday and decided to post it as it stands.
Not my ebullient self I am fully aware,  however that is where I’m at at the mo.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible...









6 comments:

  1. Take heart! I think the worst is over.

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    1. Yes Joanne, I’m hoping you are right?

      LX

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  2. At least the ulcer has been found..I assume that she is diabetic? Sending a virtual hug x

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    1. Suddenly now after the nurses saying they would come and then not turning up for days, her legs have got worse. This discovery at the diabetic clinic has suddenly galvanised them into action, especially as this ulcer has gone unnoticed for a good while! Sepsis is now the watch word. It doesn’t make me feel any better that I have been cracking on about it for ages. On principle whatever I say is a load of tosh in Audrey’s eyes... hey-ho!

      LX

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  3. It must be a relief to have told her. You can look forward now to your move...hopefully everything is going well with that?
    How is the knee? My knee is not very good again lately and I know that pain can drag you down. XX

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    1. The knee is improving, the meniscus is torn apparently. Until I get a scan the problem won’t be totally known. We are members of Benenden which means with a bit of luck I may be seen before we go in four and a bit weeks. Then at least the cause will be established. The pain is both mental and physical which as you say takes it’s toll.

      Luckily I am ahead of the packing game, so just a matter of sit it out, which in itself isn’t easy for this getup and at’em girl! At least my inactivity is helping the flaming knee...

      LX

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A year has gone by...

and the sourdough saga continues, nothing much changes, apart maybe my level of frustration at my tarnished bread making skills of a ferment...