‘Hello, is that the...

Marriage Guidance Clinic?’

‘Hello, is that the Dog Behaviourist?’

Hello, is that the Shrink?’

‘Hello, is that the Dog Warden?’

 ‘Hello, is that the TTouch fast Track Training Centre?’

Where to start?

We’ve had a bit of a crazy weekend.

For starters, like everyone else it’s been a stinker of a bank holiday weekend, not only the weather, but chaos on the dog front.

Ellie is still spending lots of time in the shrubbery.  The positive is she is marginally better on the lead, our taking her into the college grounds has proved a godsend, as you will see later in the soap opera that is our life at the mo.  We had got the okay from the principal, especially as she doesn't perform on the lead.

Last night against all teaching I had to carry her in.  For some reason she has a collie hang-up about not wanting to come in when called, even foodie enticements don’t work, same with toys.  Ted is still persona non grata, even though he has got out his animal magnetism aftershave.

‘It’s always worked before on the bitches I’ve encountered in my trip through life!’ he plaintively cried.  Sorry mate not this time!?!

In the midst of this when himself took the inaugural shower in the newly completed bathroom.  I said as he came down
‘The cloakroom light won’t go out!  Every time I pull the switch, the light goes onto half power?’  Me, being me, I didn’t notice the cloakroom had a water feature light!?!

‘There’s water pouring out of the pull!’

he said helpfully!

Husband left a short message for the company on their return after the Bank Holiday to get your arses here first thing as we have a problem. Round they came to investigate, just as the guy with our beautiful wardrobe doors turns up.  He is carrying them up the stairs as Ted shouts 

‘LL get down here quick the dog has escaped!’

I was upstairs talking to the plumber about the possible cause of our little leak.

On hearing his panicked tone, I go to shoot down to be met by another door just about to 
round the corner at the bottom of the stairs.

Seeing and probably feeling it through the soles of his feet, the force that is ME pelting down the steps, would be enough to put any sane person into early doors mental assessment!  Out I go through the ‘left open’ gate, looking to the river no sign, looking up our short road I see her bob out of the 

entrance to the college.  Between me and her there is a chap walking up, luckily and this will be the first time you will hear me say it looking intently at his phone!  Usually my thoughts on the morons that walk around with not one idea of just what is happening around them wouldn’t be printable!  His complete disconnect meant he didn’t attempt to help, for that I am eternally grateful.  Ellie saw him stroll by and bobbed back into the college grounds.  Absentmindedly he passed 
her with barely a glance.  With me calling she ran down the footpath and in the gate. Home!