myself so much!
I am always rushing, rushing rushing. What exactly am I rushing to? The grave?
All my life I have been a hard worker, sheer hard physical work. On a farm, driving huge tractors, mowing, leading bales, shovelling the preverbals!
Crofting, digging peat, throwing it out from the bottom of the bank, sacking it off the hill on my back, barrowing it along a rough track, driving it home along sheer drop into the sea roads. Unpacking and stacking it at home. In the winter, then and only then did I get to toast my toes by the fruits of my labour!
Cheffing 15/16hour days all for
the glory of some exalted family.
Now when I can take it easy I can’t, I feel flaming guilty!
Is it me or do most folk of my generation feel the same? I wish I knew, and more importantly I wish I could for once think...
Sod it!
I am just the same.I could never sit and read a book or craft in a morning,maybe the afternoon but never in the morning.
ReplyDeleteToday I have attempted to make a loaf, done a huge pile of ironing, been for a long walk in the woods. Sorted out my crafting cupboard, been shopping, come home and made some liver cake for the dog, made some lunch, now about to make a fish pie... I’m blooming exhaust thinking about it all. Why I’m not 8 stone 3 pounds I’ve no idea?
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I know what you mean! I have just spent an(other) hour cleaning out the ditch around Owl Wood - filthy, heavy work. On the plus side I now feel free to read a book, play with my quince harvest(!!) or simply do nothing. But I could have done/not done that anyway, conscience which wouldn't let me. My daughter would have no such qualms - doubt my sons would either...
ReplyDeleteA strange thing, Irritating for all that. Even when I do sit down and read a book I can’t settle to enjoy it as hovering over me is a socking great cloud of guilt.
DeleteToday for example this post was brought about by my making my second sourdough loaf and rushing it. As I was measuring the salt into the mix I thought it might be a better idea to put it in a separate container in case of mishaps. Did I listen, oh dear me NO! What happened, I measured in twice the amount and couldn’t claw it back! All of this wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t spent the last three hundred years pratting about getting the ruddy starter started! I’ve cracked on feeling thunderous and fully expect the loaf to resemble a frisbee... Added to which if the salt hasn’t inhibited the dough, the resultant loaf will probably do unimaginable damage to the ole heart’n’stuff.
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I don't rush about I have to admit. I've always kept busy though, perhaps not quite as hard as you but with 3 children under 5 and a dog I didn't have time to sit and contemplate my navel, not to mention working part time too. After I was made redundant I started my own website shop and did ok until illness hit our family then it went by the wayside and really since then I've found myself slowing right down. If I have a 'project' I'm up with the birds and getting onto it, if I don't I lie in a while, and read the news on my phone for way too long, then there's Pinterest to look at and of course blogs and I lose a whole lot of time on the computer/phone some days. I do funnily enough feel guilty about sitting down to read a book or anything during the day and I never watch daytime telly - thats a very slippy slope I think! You are what you are, accept it and go with the flow, your body will tell you if you're doing too much and I'm pretty sure your hubby will also tell to to slow down if you're wearing him out!! xx
ReplyDeleteSounds like you’ve cracked it MG. Daytime tv... I’m with you on that. Hubs does try to tell me to slow down, it is hard though after a life of being on the go 24/7. Three children and a dog. I managed one and after that thought this motherhood lark isn’t for me. So you worked a whole lot harder than me I’m sure, in a different way.
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We do get into a pattern of overworking...but at least we wont stagnate and die early!!
ReplyDeleteGood point, hard work never hurt anyone, they just get a tad frayed around the edges...
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I spent decades as a wonder worker. Then three years ago an irreversible accident just smothered and suffocated my work ethic. I was 73 then, and should have accepted it. Now I have, sort of, but only because I can't remember "how to do it", or can't make myself give a damn. Be careful what you wish for, in case that's what you're wishing for.
ReplyDeleteWow! Double Wow! What a stop you in your tracks sort of comment Joanne, just the sort I always hope for on my blog. There you go, I’ve said it again. Will I ever learn? Phew! Wishing and hoping, missing the glory of today... Thank you!
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