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Sunday, 13 October 2019

My heart threatened to...

 burst out of my chest.  With supreme willpower I kept
it under control, only just!  I leant into hubs who could without even looking feel my pain.  Tears hung meniscus-like undecided as to whether to fall. 
I gripped his arm for fear of melt down.

It all started so well.  We settled Ellie with her special soothing sound machine, we left with the minimum of fuss.  Off up the hill we trolled complete with cushions for the hard seats in the Assembly Rooms.  I am, at the best of times a fidget, I just can’t sit still, the desire to move is exacerbated by the rigor mortis-type stillness of all who surround me!  The film took me quite a while to get into, this added to my fidgets, the seats, my worn spine and my general 
pain-in-the-arseness all came together to make me think...
let me get out of here!
Am I pleased I didn’t.

The pain, the frustration, the sheer drudgery of his life doing a  boring job, looking after a demanding mother and having to hear her slagging off his, in her view pathetic attempts at painting.

Sitting in the gloom, the mother of an only child, a son, the horror hit home of the power a mother holds over a dutiful son.  The ghastly thought drew me in, settling me better than any soft seat.  Suddenly I was there, experiencing his frustration, the  sheer unending toil of appeasing the one woman in a weird way he loved.  All his pictures were for her, to win her love.

By the end I was in pieces. I sat stock still as the audience got up and started shuffling out.  I didn’t want to move for fear of stepping back into my cosseted life.

If you get the chance go and see 
it.

‘Mrs Lowry & Son’

2 comments:

  1. Gosh I wondered where you were going with this to start with! I was worried for a minute there. I love it when a good film or book grabs you and pulls you right in. Recently I've found a new author I love called Ruth Hogan. I love her books and get sucked right into them. I'm glad you enjoyed your night out. x

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    Replies
    1. Aaah, sorry MG if I got you worried for a mo. I didn’t expect to be as moved as I was by the film.

      Funnily enough I am sure a friend on the phone just this afternoon was recommending Ruth Hogan, how weird is that? I will look out for her in the library.

      LX

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A year has gone by...

and the sourdough saga continues, nothing much changes, apart maybe my level of frustration at my tarnished bread making skills of a ferment...