about me I wonder that I felt discombobulated by her assuming I remembered National Service?
Sadly I think it does!
This afternoon as a volunteer I was charged to sit with a lady who had just been admitted. She had a very painful break which was causing her a huge amount of discomfort. Tears rolled down her face as she recounted her life story. Her marriage, her children, their happy retirement until her husband was diagnosed with cancer and his very speedy demise. She was one of life's talkers. From tears to smiles and then chuckles.
As she told me about her man doing his National Service she said ‘Do you remember those days?’ Fleetingly I felt disgruntled as I replied
‘No!’ followed hard on the heels by the thought... well I obviously look as if I should! The next thing that crossed my mind was...
what a tart to be put out by this simple question, how shallow is that as I sit here hale and hearty!?! Our conversation was free flowing, she started to ask things about me, a good sign I thought, taking her out of her particular painful here and now.
Listening is a skill, knowing when to shut up, knowing it is okay for them to give free rein to the tears and sad times. As we said our goodbyes she looked perkier, brighter and in a small way I felt I had made a difference.
Walking home through town I glanced at this old dear reflected in a shop window and thought...
Yes, I do look as if I might remember men being called up for National Service. Get a grip LL age is just a number, you’ve had a blooming good life...
madam that you are!
Listening is a great skill.When I retired I did voluntary inspection work in residential homes for the elderly.Part of my role was to talk to the residents.When you have been an hour with someone who is 94 and they have got to them being 14 you are inform the long haul.Great stories though.
ReplyDeleteI once went on a public speaking course, the group fell about laughing when I suggested there should be a listening skills course. As you say it is lovely for people to recount and relive some of their past life and to feel all hope is not lost.
DeleteLX
Oh dear I do remember National Service. The RAF recruits from RAF Stanmore, Bridgnorth as part of their passing out, were subjected to several days camping out on The Brown Clee Hill where I grew up. At this point they were posted to their units. I find that NS was introduced in 1949 (my birth year) and finished in 1960. On the last evening they were marched (with much noise from hob nailed boots) to and from the pub in Ditton Priors.
ReplyDeleteWell, well! Just off for a walk today to Titterstone Clee, our favourite local walk.
DeleteHappy memories of a bygone era.
LX
I just finished The Splendid and the Vile, by Eric Larson, the first year in the history of the Battle of Britain. I'd sure listen to anyone who was there.
ReplyDeleteWorth a read? I will look for it in the library.
DeleteLX
My discombobulation comes when I hear them describe how the elderly are described as being in danger of this virus which shall not be named. Only because they then clarify that the elderly are those of 60 and over!! We need a new name for those of us not yet in our 80's! Listening is indeed a skill. My husband is a very good listener. x
ReplyDeleteErr... years of practice, maybe?
DeleteLX