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Thursday 23 July 2020

‘Stuffed marrow...

 that’s what I am having for supper!’
I glanced at the clock...
Eight O the ruddy clock!
Every bone in my body was disgruntled... all the sodding time over the last few days I have thought you were dying, and now this!
‘That sounds delish!’
the actress in me replied thinking all the while shouldn’t we be talking shrouds?
‘Well, I do love marrow, you know I hate cooking but being given this I thought to make myself supper!’
Opening and closing my mouth like a ruddy goldfish gulping for air in a stagnant bowl of black water I weakly replied...
‘What did you stuff it with?’
‘Well’ she said getting into the zone ‘I had made a meat loaf, which wasn’t particularly successful, I crumbled that together with onions and those chilli flakes, breadcrumbs and egg!’
What about the constant diarrhoea, flitted Oh so gently through my addled brain... I don’t bloody believe this!?!
By this time Audrey was definitely in the all things cordon bleu!
I looked at the clock ten past ruddy eight!  A 96 year old bod having to digest this culinary extravaganza at that time of night?
Feebly I said 
‘Be sure not to let it burn, as you have so many times in the past with all this chatting on the phone!’
Was it that obvious, I wanted to end the call, I idly wondered?

‘Good idea, I’m just going to prod it with a knife!’
And off she went.
Falling back into the chair I said 
‘I don’t blooming believe it... Pass me the biscuits!’




12 comments:

  1. Hope she enjoyed it ! Sounds like she has bounced back again.

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    Replies
    1. Errrrrrr... Yes, and some! Good for her I say, well in my more lucid moments which of late, with all things Audrey, those times seem to be getting more and more hazy!?! Is it me?

      LX

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  2. Replies
    1. And some! ‘Life is too short to stuff a mushroom!’ said Shirley Conran. Audrey says ‘Death is too close not to stuff a monster marrow!’ What can you say? Not a lot really!

      LX

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  3. She's going to catch you out methinks! It's great she's still wanting to cook and eat and I think that probably means she's not as near the end as she's had you think! Just when you're convinced she's superwoman and will live forever she'll surprise you but lets hope thats not for a while yet! I can't ever imagine wanting to stuff a marrow!! xx

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    1. I once worked as a volunteer at a hospice. I was a home visitor, I would take people out for the day, take them shopping, a walk, anything and everything. One lady was called Rita, she lived in Tunbridge Wells, I once got there to find her defrosting the freezer... yes defrosting the flaming freezer. Not a job I would think about readily even in the full flush of health let alone the full flush of death! Another time spring cleaning? On one occasion I phoned to confirm my visit the next day, as I bellowed, due to her deafness down the phone she replied, I can’t go out with you tomorrow I have a lady coming from the hospice!?! I fell exhausted back in the chair to himself rolling around the floor at my ever increasing volume. She died. I was so surprised, I thought she was invincible, Audrey will catch me out the same I can feel it in me water!

      LX

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  4. I was confused, stuffed marrow? What is that? Makes no sense to me! My friend "Google" helped me out,....ahhh, now I know! In Germany we stuffed cucumbers that way. See, I even get educated reading your blog! lol

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    Replies
    1. Oh dear, ‘getting educated’, not at all my idea! Having a glut of cucumbers, yesterday I made cucumber soup with some oniony gravy languishing in the back of the fridge and some sticks of green. It turned out light brown ‘Windsor soup’, maybe another thing you might have to ask that very obliging Mr Google about? Hot and tasty it was too... the money I must be saving us, enough for a world cruise... errrrrrr..... maybe not!?!

      LX

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  5. Replies
    1. Yes that Audrey, she be the death of me!

      LX

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  6. aww...96 years old lady has a happy face....

    thank you for sharing the post

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    Replies
    1. She sadly doesn’t look that good now, then neither do I look as good as when that photo was taken!?!

      LX

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