his accoutrements?’ I kindly enquired as a chap allowed his rescue collie to screw his nose like a screw-in light bulb up Ellie’s rear end. The husband beside me viewed his nails as if they needed a major overhaul, pretending all the while he hadn’t ever clapped eyes on me before this the first day of the roaring twenties. Black bottom eat your heart out!
The man thought for a moment before replying. The reason for the dog’s keen interest hadn’t occurred to him until that very second! Whether it was my particular use of words or being asked such a direct question this early in the new decade, I really have no idea?
‘Err, yes,he has!’ he replied all the while I am sure, thinking to himself to unscrew is it clockwise or anti?
Sagely I said
‘That would explain it: Ellie has been spayed that obviously accounts for her total disinterest in sex!’
As we walked away the husband said you really do have a way with words...
You do indeed!
ReplyDelete‘fraid so!
DeleteLX
I believe I might have followed with, "you know, balls!" He should have had more authority over his dog.
ReplyDeleteHe was rather an ‘interesting’ man who claimed his dog was a pure bred collie. If that dog was a pukka collie then I’m a super model!
DeleteLX
I'm a bit less poetic than you, I tell people my dog still has his 'bits'! He's never had much interest in 'doing it' and he's not allowed out on his own so we never bothered to get him 'done' Wishing you and yours a very Happy New Year. xx
ReplyDeleteWhat poetic like Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales... that sort of poetic? I wouldn’t mind but this dog was on a lead. It followed Ellie as if doing the Conga and still he didn’t take any notice. It’s no wonder his wife wandered off leaving him to bore for Britain and the dog sniff like a Dyson on speed.
DeleteLX