I’m all of a...

do-dar!

What to do next for badness?

The husband on an undercover mission has located a bag of multi-purpose for me, was this a cunning ploy to give himself a break from my peering at him and wondered what to suggest next, I idly wonder!?!

Already I have made a nutty soda bread.

Yes, yes, I know full well what you are thinking!

I am making my own yogurt, the last lot was a huge success. Just a jam thermometer and a saucepan, I was surprised at my very passable set yogurt.  So good for the gut, what!

From 500g of mince I have made some food for Ellie, spot the meat type of food.  A small shepherds pie for us last night and a curry planned for tonight with the addition of a few veg.  An ageing dal I have discovered cowering at the bottom of the freezer.  Poppadoms we can do without.  

A tasty homemade takeaway, what is there not to like.  Speaking of which the scales show a 1.5lb loss this morning, maybe the batteries are running low?

Random thoughts...

I feel a complete heel I didn’t clap last night for the staff of the NHS.  My thinking was, we would have had to walk out of our gate, as we don’t have road frontage.  Our little road has just five houses, two of which are empty airbnb, would anyone hear?

Would that honestly matter?  Have you done things in the past that made you feel stupid,  careful how you answer that LL!?!  No, I am going to answer it... Of course I flaming well have and will continue to do, it’s a design fault I have!

We went to Clee Hill, and passed not a soul, quite a few cars though, so they were there.  Then blow me down with a feather on last night’s news we were castigated, not us personally you understand, but folks just like us.  Once again I felt awful, so no more Clee sadly.

As I sit contemplating my next move, my head is full of so many memories, funny and fun times, the crazy capers I have got up to over the years.  If the virus does get me I will have had a wonderful life so full of interesting things, people and places.  When my time does come and the grim reaper taps me on the shoulder  I will turn and smile and look forward to my next new experience.

In the meantime you will see The Coronavirus has been killed by Ellie... the finger says it all!

She has lost all interest now the evil air has left the building! Or to be more exact the blooming thing has been punctured.  Sorry now I only got one on my last visit to the supermarket while the more canny were going into the bog roll and beans battle.  And we all know what became of that... No not only wind...

The greenhouse has...

landed!

I can’t actually believe it!

We have been sensible and have kept our distance, the workmen’s refreshments I set up in the little kitchen in the garden room.

This time I was even more measured  and didn’t do the usual domestic goddess caper, making cakes, biscuits and other treats... just an unopened packet of quality biscuits.  I know how to treat a man!?!

I have put brightly coloured paper bunting into the greenhouse as a way of alerting the birds as to its presence.  The birds are used to flying away from the Wrenery in just that direction.  Best be safe than sorry.

With no veg. seeds and very little compost I am stuffed for the time being.  I will have to revert to my old ways of feet up reading a book with a chilled glass of wine type gardening... it will be tough, but I might just manage it!

What IS the story of...

the sock in the road?

Knickers, bra even I could understand, but a sock?  One sock?

For months now I have watched as the winter took its toll.  Still it lay looking for all the world forlorn and unloved.

What could I do to reunite it with its twin?  The thought troubled me as daily I saw it become ever more disheveled and dismayed.

I couldn’t even with my well honed imagination imagine how it had got here.  It’s not as if we live on a leafy lane where lovers might caste all caution to the wind.  A dead end road leading to nowhere, as a consequence bare-footed pilgrims having lost their way are I ought to say a rarity. 

What else? A one legged mistral stopping to change his socks or should I say sock?

Any idea?

This morning as I gathered the logs left outside, brave with the security of leather gauntlets I decided the game was up.

‘Look here sunshine you’re nicked!  

   I said as I bent to pick it up.  With the offending article clasped securely between thumb and forefinger finger I carried it in and sadly deposited it in the bin, never knowing the story of its let’s face it, interesting life.

Ellie has captured the...

Coronavirus and has it behind bars.  After giving it a very good duffing-up!

Hopefully this has cracked it!?!

 I knew this grille would come in useful sometime!

This is going to be her kennel when the clematis grows through...
air raid shelters eat your heart out!

The greenhouse has sadly been postponed once again: in the grand scheme of things is it important?
I don’t think so, although the husband might say different as his   dream of peace is shelved for the time being!

The plan for today is to make pea and ham soup, well not exactly ham!  I have just found some ham stock in the bottom of the freezer and a half dead packet of dried peas.  
Pea and Imagine Ham soup will be on the menu for today’s luncheon. 
My slink is getting slinkier as the podge as if by magic dissolves.
What is there not to like?

The plus side of...

our self isolating world.

We live in a lovely tucked out of the way cottage with no road frontage.

We are new to the area so folk haven’t quite worked us out yet or even that we’re here!  

I am happy just pottering about, not really doing anything.

My mind floats free with dreams and schemes that I know just aren’t going to happen.

Ellie is our excuse to get out and exercise, although the kibosh will be put on this anytime soon, no doubt?

At speed the husband will read his birthday present, the great tome that is the last in Hilary Mantel’s trilogy of Cromwell.

‘The Mirror and the Light’

I am hardly containing myself to get my mitts on it.  I do have lots of my own library books which I wisely got anticipating this happening.  Like a toddler with toys, I don’t want to read mine...

I want his book.  Not to put too fine a point on it, his obvious 

enjoyment is making me feel rebellious I can feel a hissy fit bubbling just below the surface! I want to rush over snatch it out of his hands and on stout legs run away.  Problem is I wouldn’t get very far as it weighs a ton!

The dust deepens as we know for a fact no visitors will darken our door.  Suits me as I am a top show girl, as long as everything looks fine and artistically arranged I’m absolutely fine with that.  The dust will be settling long after we are dead.  Come to think about it, all dusting really does is stir it up for it to find some other surface to inhabit obv!

The garden is being made my own, I have to resist nipping out to the garden centre to buy compost’n’stuff.

We will inadvertently lose weight as I make a very little go a lot further.  I have always made a point of never throwing anything out that I could make into something else.  I hate waste.  At this rate I might rediscover my waist... one can only live in hope?

When a glance or...

a wave can kill?
Or maybe not?

Bright idea of the day...

‘Let’s go to Clee Hill!’

A wild isolated, isolating spot.

Wrong!

Cars, motorhomes, motorbikes all congregated.  Lots of space for all to keep clear of each others bugs and virus’s.

A beautiful sunny and bright day, 

a happy thought: a marvellous place for all to share yet be safe.

We walked our usual route hardly seeing a soul apart from cut-out silhouettes on the skyline.

Until that is, we turned for home along the fallen stones of an bronze/iron-age hill fort.

Tucked smack on the path were a family having a grumpy looking picnic, eldest son sat apart valiantly trying in the bright sunshine to see a picture on his flat thing, his whole posture was of ‘Do I have to be here!?!’  Leaving the path and giving them space we trogged over the tussocks of rough ground.  As we passed a goodly distance away we both waved in cheery acknowledgment.  Not a glimmer, not a nod, a wave, any sign to let us know they were aware we had deviated from the path.  Just stony faces glaring.  Why?

Rejoining the track we hadn’t gone far before another couple were hunkered down also very near the path.  Once again we did the same, they watched us without a smile or any sort of recognition.

Fear flavoured sarnies maybe?

We walked away sadden by our experience.  Is this what we all have to look forward to I idly wonder?

In my weakened state I...

 got to thinking... what is it exactly about loo rolls, bog rolls, toilet rolls, toilet paper call it what you will.

Am I thick?  I just don’t get it!

Hang your head in shame if your cupboards are full to overflowing of things that you know in your heart of hearts that you won’t need in the foreseeable future.  

After which those who are fixated with best by dates and sell by dates will chuck it all out when things get better.

The world has gone stark raving mad, when half of the world are starving.

Let’s get real here and consider folk needier than ourselves...

Normal service will...

 be resumed as soon as possible.  

Today I am poorly, just a stinking cold.

I leave you with the base for the greenhouse which is now coming on Tuesday!?!

And the harvested grass...

Beneath the slothful...

exterior lies a dynamic woman craving to escape.  My mind whirs  with plans, schemes and dreams.  This is the lot of an only child, I live in my head.  I quite wear myself out with thoughts hence (another word I like) nothing really gets done.

My latest thing is I am up 

early-ish with the thought that I ought to go to the shops to get special biscuits for the workmen coming tomorrow to erect the greenhouse.  The fact that we have everything we need for ourselves is a mere bagatelle.  My workmen usually get fed home baked biscuits, scones, luncheon even!

I know, I know!  I’m a feeder, you see!  Now my latest worry is I don’t want to give them our germs. The husband isn’t 100% free of the cough, me I feel a tad below par, so you can see the dilemma I face?

The decision I have come to is, for the greater good... stay home make a few scones, cheese and maybe sour cherry and chocolate ones, offer them and let them be the judge of whether they accept!

Sound like a plan?

*

Yesterday strolling through the woods in my Berghaus which I ought to say is beginning to feel like a corset!  I got the distinct impression my body was going one way, the waterproof the other!?! Tum and bum felt tightly encased as I sized up clumps of grass.

Clumps of grass? 

Yes, clumps of grass!

Carefully I selected a trowel- shaped piece of timber.  Husband looked on wondering... Now what?

I spied a suitable specimen and bent with difficulty I ought to say in my newly acquired corsetry!  As he saw what I was about to do he plaintively cried 

‘Wouldn’t it be better to bring the trowel tomorrow?’

With total disregard to his pearl of wisdom I set to.  The wooden implement soon gave up in the face of my determination.  Undeterred I carried on now using my God-given tools... my more than capable hands.  The grass soon saw who was the boss and roots’n’all gave in without not too much of a fight.  I filled the poo bag with a goodly amount.  The very few people we passed looked and looked again at the vision in the blue corset, carrying what to all intents and purposes was a dog turd the size of an elephant poo!?!  Worse than that it had grass in it.  Their next glance was at Ellie, with marvel in their eyes at the discrepancy of the two.

They wandered away I am sure with the thought...

‘The world as we know it is changing!’

My partners-in-crime this morning.

As I sat twanging my...

elasticated trousers I got to thinking... just how am I going to play this enforced isolation?

Am I going to let my true slovenly self out, which I ought to say is very appealing to me?

Stop wearing a bra, as no one will be able to see the resulting swing?

If I wore dentures I could keep them safely in the glass beside the bed without fear or favour. 

I could eat for Britain and the rest of the world combined... well until my bunker full of store ingredients ran out.  That or the waistband of my trews got elastic fatigue and died, revealing my lower half to the unseeing world.

I need never pluck a stray hair out of my chin ever again.

I wouldn’t need to wash, well apart from my hands, floss my teeth or clean them even.  The food parcels I make and send I could still make and scoff the contents myself.  I could tell folk I am booking a world cruise knowing full well it wouldn’t happen.  How impressed all would be at my great wealth.

I could start to be kind and considerate, well that wouldn’t happen because there would be no one around to enjoy my bonhomie.  It would be wasted on the husband as his suspicions would be on high alert.

What’s a girl to do I ask you?
Not to touch your face...
I know, I know.

Worrying times.